7 Things to Know About Me as Your Counsellor
Read more on how I show up in sessions as a therapist, and what to expect when working together with me. I hope it resonates with you 🧡
1. A shared journey
I work collaboratively with my clients, believing we are co-travellers on your journey. You are the expert on your life and I strive to understand your experiences from your perspective with deep empathy. You deserve to have full autonomy in your counselling, and how you’d like these to be structured. I bring in my own experiences, perspectives, and insights to the counselling process, primarily practicing from these three approaches:
Psychodynamic counselling
Using a psychodynamic approach helps to get deeper into why some things may feel familiar to you, and work towards bringing these unconscious patterns to consciousness. This approach is less focused on the ‘problem’ and rather being curious about your ways of relating.
Feminist counselling
I practice from a feminist framework, working within a sociopolitical context. In sessions, I prioritise your voice and support you in creating awareness of how social and cultural contexts are contributing to our therapeutic relationship and the external circumstances of your life. I create a pathway towards healing and empowerment within a socially conscious counselling environment.
Creative arts therapy
Creative arts therapy recognises that not all emotions can be expressed verbally. This approach is focused on the connection of the mind and body and the felt sense of your experiences. It promotes self-awareness, self-expression, and personal growth. It is a process-focused approach where no previous musical or artistic skills are necessary.
2. Less about finding ‘solutions’ or ‘fixing’
You are not ‘broken’ and need to be ‘fixed’! Your emotions are a natural part of the human experience, even the painful ones. Our society today tends to be pathologising ‘mental health conditions’ that are focused on treating ‘symptoms’ rather than working out the root of the pain and suffering. Digging deeper and finding out insights about yourself can feel SO empowering!
3. Play as an integral part of connection
Play allows us to interact with others and ourselves in a more spontaneous, authentic, and less guarded way. It often involves the suspension of rigid social rules and expectations, giving way to deeper connections beyond language and cultural differences. Incorporating play allows more room for empathy, shared experiences, self-expression, and emotional regulation.
4. The counselling relationship in itself can be healing
Counselling can offer opportunities for corrective emotional experiences, where you can start to explore and experience healthy and supportive relationships that you may have been lacking in your past. This can help to heal old wounds and create new, healthier patterns of relating, which can be SO helpful towards creating a life for yourself that you deserve!
5. I care deeply for my clients
I care deeply about the well-being of my clients and feel a true desire to show up for you in a way that you need. If there is something I think you could benefit from, I always share these resources with you. I consider myself to be a warm, empathic, and genuine person and that’s how I aim to show up in sessions!
6. Bringing my personality to sessions
I don’t believe in ‘blank slates’ and I have found this unhelpful in my own therapy too. I am a human with so many things I have yet to figure out! My wish is to bring the same humanness to sessions by showing my personality, humour, and directness with compassion and sensitivity. I recognise that I too have my limitations, and I am always ready to admit when I don’t know something. I remain curious to work together towards an answer you need.
7. Living in a way that works for you!
Counselling can be so helpful in figuring out what it is that YOU need. In our daily lives, we can be so overstimulated by other people’s assumptions, opinions and observations. Counselling offers a quiet space from where you can turn towards your inner voice and find out what it has been telling you all along. It’s okay not to have the answers but it may be time to start listening to it, and creating a life that truly resonates with you.
I aim to keep advocating for counselling as I know how much value it has brought to me. My wish is to carry on sharing that with others. If this is something you are willing to give a go, then I look forward to connecting 🧡
How Can Incorporating Creativity Into Your Life Improve Your Mental Health?
In this post, I'll break down the meaning of creativity, its benefits, and how you can start being more creative in your everyday life without overwhelming yourself.
Many of us ignore creativity, like it's a task to be done or that it doesn't have any value if you're not good at it. We play as kids without thinking twice about it. It is what drives us and how we experience the world. Why do we keep losing it when we become adults? In this post, I'll break down the meaning of creativity, its benefits, and how you can start being more creative in your everyday life without overwhelming yourself. By being creative, you can improve your well-being and feelings of fulfilment.
What is creativity?
Creativity refers to the ability to open our minds and be open to change. It allows us to problem-solve, find new perspectives and ideas, communicate with others and help to see how we see ourselves. There is lots of information in that! As a society though, we have lost touch with creativity, where being more precise and fitting in with others has become the norm. That however, doesn't allow our minds to develop in new and innovative ways. Although some of us may be more naturally inclined towards creativity, it is also a skill that can be developed and nurtured over time through practice, training, and exposure to diverse experiences and perspectives.
Benefits of being creative
Creativity helps us to feel more alive and at ease with ourselves, letting us be exactly the way we want to. Some of the key advantages include:
1. Increased problem-solving ability
Creativity helps us to approach problems in unique and unconventional ways, leading to more effective and efficient solutions.
2. Enhanced mental health and well-being
Engaging in creative activities can be a powerful way to reduce stress, improve mood, and promote a sense of purpose and empowerment.
3. Improved communication skills
Creativity supports communicating your ideas and concepts from a new perspective. This in turn will help to express these ideas in new ways in your everyday communication and social skills.
4. Increased innovation and adaptability
Creativity helps us to be more adaptable to change and open to new ideas and experiences, facilitating innovation and growth in personal and professional contexts.
5. Greater sense of self-awareness and self-expression
Creativity allows us to express ourselves in unique and meaningful ways, which can help to develop a stronger sense of identity and purpose.
How can you start incorporating creativity into your life?
Below are some examples of how to start using creativity in your life. Be mindful, though, not to overwhelm yourself with all of them at once. Pick one to begin with and see how it feels. Start doing that once or a couple of times per week, in a way that feels good to you.
Journaling
This is probably the most common one, but many aspects of journalling exist. Julia Cameron, the author of ‘The Artist’s Way’ has suggested to start your day with morning pages, handwriting three pages of whatever comes to your mind. The content of this doesn't matter, we just want to get into the habit of doing so and to develop our creative minds.
Picking up an instrument
Start by picking up an instrument you have on hand by playing with different sounds, experimenting, and finding a melody or a beat. If you can't get your hands on an instrument, then don't worry. You can start experimenting with your voice and see how that sounds. Don't worry about the outcome. It is about experimenting with the sound and getting comfortable with it.
Art dates with loved ones
Organising an art date with your friends or family members can give you the motivation you need. Preparing art materials and taking time to sit with art-making and creating something. You may have a prompt ready where each of you will create a landscape by thinking about what is important to them. Or by drawing a circle in the middle and filling it with shapes or colours that are important to them. There are many possibilities, but connecting through art-making might take the pressure off and offer you a long-awaited quality time.
Writing a poem
You can start by considering a topic you want to write about. It could be a feeling that you've had for a while. Write that down and start mind-mapping lyrics that associate with that word. Don't worry about whether these rhyme or not, you can focus on that later. Enjoy the process of it and see what comes from it.
Movement
Listening to your favourite music and moving to it without any judgement. You can start doing that on your own or with friends, whatever feels comfortable. Notice what is happening in your body. Any tension in certain areas or tightness. Some parts may feel more relaxed than others. Pay attention to it and be curious about the sensations but let them be just as they are without trying to get rid of them.
Small steps towards creativity
Incorporating creativity into your life can be a powerful tool for improving your mental health and well-being. Whether through art, writing, music, or other forms of creative expression, taking the time to nurture your creative side can significantly benefit your mental health. It is a valuable and important trait that can benefit individuals and society as a whole.
If you want to start exploring your creativity with me in a therapeutic space, contact me below. I look forward to hearing from you!
How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays
How can you start setting boundaries to have healthy relationships and keep yourself safe?
December is here and we are getting closer to the holiday period. For some of us, this can cause anxiety when having to spend time with family. It can bring up triggers that we are not used to in our daily lives. How can you start setting boundaries to have healthy relationships and keep yourself safe?
How to start setting boundaries with family?
Holidays can trigger lots of uncomfortable feelings simply because we are surrounded by family members, which can be triggering old wounds that we haven’t processed yet. However, it helps to know that we don’t have to stay stuck in our old ways of being such as when we were children. As adults, we can decide what is best for us and where we want to put our energy on. But where to start? Below, I have mentioned 5 ways you can start setting boundaries with your family.
Only say yes to events you actually want to attend
You don’t need to attend every event you have been invited to. Know what is best for you and honour yourself. If you know that you are going to be surrounded by people that don’t lift you up or the thought of going to these events drains you, then choose to say no, however difficult that might be.
Don’t tolerate comments about your body or food
Please don’t tolerate comments about your eating habits or the way your body looks. You can politely say that you would rather not talk about these topics or that you don’t feel comfortable discussing these. You can even say, ‘Please don’t comment on the way my body looks or comment on what I eat’. This can be uncomfortable to start with but will be worth the effort.
You can walk away from stressful situations
If something is triggering you, notice how you feel. Know that you don’t have to stay in these situations that cause you overwhelm. If the other person keeps breaking your boundaries then you can choose to walk away with grace. It is okay to leave the situation to keep yourself safe without giving explanations. You can decide whether to engage or not. Ask yourself, ‘Is it worth my energy or not?’
Take breaks during and between holiday events
You can take time off by going for a walk or having a couple of deeper breaths to connect with yourself and come back to it. You have options and you can choose what is best for you. Maybe you arrive by car to the event so you can leave when you want to. Perhaps recharging by doing something that feels good to you in between the events rather than draining yourself.
Spending limits on presents
You can set boundaries with your money too, and know what you can or cannot afford, or what you want to spend your money on. You don’t have to spend money on presents that you don’t want to do. Honour that and know what is best for you.
Leaning into discomfort whilst setting boundaries
It is worth noting, that this is not possible in every culture. Please bear this is mind when starting to set boundaries and do what feels right to you. Have self-compassion whilst setting boundaries since it can be uncomfortable at first. People asking personal questions about your life, or questioning the way you are living your life. If you have a safe person in your family, you can share your feelings and thoughts with them and spend time with them if they make you feel good. You don’t have to stay stuck in conversations that you don’t feel comfortable with, be it about body image or politics.
Take-aways
do what feels right to you
be kind to yourself whilst setting new boundaries
if you have a safe person in your family, choose to spend more time with them
If you’d like to have further support, please contact me via the button below.