When Chaos Feels Familiar: Reflections on Regulation, Meaning, and Music
Through both personal experience and my work as a therapist, I’ve come to see that distress is often meaningful. It tells us something about our needs, our limits, and the environments we’re moving through. When those needs go unmet for long enough, the body finds ways to signal.
Experiencing Baseline Chaos
There are times when chaos doesn’t feel like a moment in life, but a baseline. A steady sense of overwhelm, restlessness, or disconnection that can be difficult to name, even internally.
Many neurodivergent adults describe this experience as a feeling of being out of sync — with expectations, with environments, or with themselves. It’s not always dramatic, but it can be deeply tiring.
Understanding Chaos Through the Nervous System
Earlier in my life, I did not yet have language for this. What I understand now is that what felt like “chaos” was also a nervous system responding to sustained pressure and misattunement. Not a failure — but an attempt to cope.
Through both personal experience and my work as a therapist, I’ve come to see that distress is often meaningful. It tells us something about our needs, our limits, and the environments we’re moving through. When those needs go unmet for long enough, the body finds ways to signal.
Finding Regulation Through Music
Music became one of the ways I learned to listen to those signals. Not as a solution, and not in a performative sense, but as a regulating experience.
Rhythm, repetition, and sound can offer containment when words feel inaccessible. This isn’t unique — humans are wired for rhythm and attunement long before language develops.
Music and Creativity in Counselling
In counselling, music and creativity can offer a gentle bridge. They can:
Support regulation
Allow emotions to move
Create space for awareness without pressure to analyse or fix
Importantly, this work is always led by the individual — at their pace and with consent.
You Are Not Broken
If you’re reading this and feel chaotic or overwhelmed, I want you to know that you are not broken. Healing is rarely linear, and it often happens through small, manageable shifts, rather than sudden change.
Small Steps That Can Help
Some gentle ways to begin:
Notice what helps you feel even slightly more settled.
Share a small part of your experience, without needing to explain everything.
Move at your pace, listening to your nervous system.
Seek support that feels respectful and collaborative.
Meeting Yourself With Curiosity
You don’t need to have all the answers and you don’t need to make sense of everything right now. What matters is meeting yourself with curiosity rather than judgement. If you feel almost ready to explore this further, I’ll wait to hear from you.
5 Self-Care Techniques for Adults with ADHD
Neglecting self-care practices for adults with ADHD can be easy to do, but it might be the most important thing you can do for your mental well-being to help you manage symptoms, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being.
ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder) affects a significant proportion of the adult population, with more individuals seeking out a diagnosis and understanding. In addition to symptoms of hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention, research has also explored ADHD and the connection between certain emotional and cognitive factors, such as higher emotional reactivity, negative thinking patterns, and co-existing conditions, such as anxiety and depression.
Neglecting self-care practices for adults with ADHD can be easy to do, but it might be the most important thing you can do for your mental well-being to help you manage symptoms, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being. Let's look at these carefully tailored five self-care techniques for adults with ADHD, providing practical ways to maintain balance and daily functioning.
1. Recognising your thought patterns through journaling
ADHD affects thinking, such as focusing more on negative thinking patterns, which may leave you feeling self-doubt, self-criticism, moments of failure, and low self-esteem. Through journaling, your brain will start slowing down, helping you identify when these thoughts arise, how they may affect your mood, and how to process emotions more effectively. You can challenge these thoughts by being curious about where they come from and whether they are true. Thoughts can then be reframed to something more positive. Even if it's difficult to believe and feel these are first, working in such a way takes practice and consistency.
If journaling doesn't work for you, I always encourage people to seek different mediums, such as art-making, music-making, or poetry. Whatever feels more accessible to you, go with that. Be kind to yourself throughout the process and seek further support if needed.
2. Understanding hyperfocus
Hyperfocus is a fixation on an activity for a prolonged period without taking any breaks, losing track of time, and neglecting eating and sleeping, usually engaging in an activity you are interested in. Hyperfocus can deplete your energy and leave you exhausted by its end. Low dopamine levels in the brain are hypothesised to play a role in hyperfocus. Due to this, it can be challenging to get yourself out of the intense focus. Although it can be an excellent asset, it can also decrease productivity and impact your relationships and academic achievements. Recognising your hyperfocus can help you set timers and alarms when working on tasks and use other external cues to manage your time more effectively.
Arula Counselling integrates creative, psychodynamic, mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) approaches with a focus on neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed care.
3. Listening to music that makes you feel good
Music can significantly increase dopamine in your brain, regulating emotions and offering structure to your day. The rhythm and tempo of songs support attention, focus, and decision-making. You can also use music to complete tasks due to the nature of the length of songs and tracks. It can start by structuring your brushing your teeth in the morning by playing a 2-3 minute upbeat song. Experiment with genres, speed, and instrumentation, and notice how different songs make you feel. Instrumental music may be more supportive due to not having instant associations with the music and lyrics. However, lyrics can be powerful in focusing on one specific mood or situation. Just notice how different tracks and songs make you feel.
4. Finding the right support network
Building a solid support network is essential for individuals with ADHD. Seek out people who understand and empathise with your experiences; it might be someone you know of having the same condition. Talking to people who understand you can be helpful and healing, as well as being heard and validated and feeling like you're not alone in your experiences. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can provide validation, understanding, and practical strategies for managing ADHD symptoms. Sharing your challenges and successes with others who can relate can be immensely beneficial. It can start with your family, friends, or someone from work with whom you connect and feel safe. It can start from just one person.
5. Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion is crucial for individuals with ADHD. Understand that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition and that your symptoms do not define you. ADHD is just one part of you. Be patient and kind to yourself, recognising that you are doing your best. When setbacks occur, offer yourself understanding and forgiveness. Listen to how you speak to yourself, and notice to treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness you would extend to a friend facing similar challenges.
Conclusion
Self-care is crucial to adults with ADHD to help manage symptoms, reduce stress, and improve their mental and physical well-being. By incorporating these five self-care techniques into your daily living through journaling, understanding hyperfocus, listening to music to structure tasks, and boosting cognition, finding the right support network, and practicing self-compassion, you will start to understand yourself better and live a more balanced life. Remember that self-care is a personal journey that looks different for everyone, so explore and experiment with different strategies to find what works best for you.
If you need more support in your process or have any questions regarding how therapy could support you, I look forward to connecting with you.
References
Hamdani, S. (2023) Self-Care for People with ADHD. Simon & Schuster.
Nuff, K. (2024) Self-compassion. Available at: https://self-compassion.org/. (Accessed: 15 February 2024).
Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Newcorn, J. H., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Telang, F., ... & Swanson, J. M. (2011). Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway. Molecular psychiatry, 16(11), 1147-1154. doi: 10.1038/mp.2010.97
The Connection Between Autism and Loneliness [in Neurodivergent Women]
When reaching adulthood, many autistic women lack social support and knowledge on how to find available support. Let's find out how to start creating connection to decrease feelings of loneliness.
Research shows that loneliness and autism are interconnected where autistic people experience loneliness more intensely than non-autistic individuals. Despite the general misconception that autistic people prefer to be alone, many are interested in social connections. However, it can be challenging to form new relationships due to experiencing difficulties with social interaction.
In this article, I’ll focus on the connection between autism and loneliness, discussing what loneliness is, the connection between loneliness and autism focusing on neurodivergent women, the challenges of autism and loneliness, and how to find support that works for you.
1. What is loneliness?
Loneliness is a form of subjective social isolation where a person feels that their current social situation doesn’t align with their social needs and preferences, leading to unpleasant emotions. It is an experience of a lack of fulfilling connections with others such as in intimate relationships, family, friendships or collective loneliness.
‘Many persons in society who are considered to be different and diverse are likely to be exposed to discrimination, exclusion, and (physical, emotional, and psychological) pain from people and institutions with the dominant majority group in society. Such negative treatment can severely impact their levels of trust, self-confidence, fear, anxiety, and future life opportunities’.
- Colin Lago, 2011
2. Loneliness in neurodivergent women
Loneliness is a common experience in neurodivergent women which can lead to mental health difficulties such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and depression. Moreover, the pervasive lack of acceptance and understanding of autism within society can compound the social challenges faced by those with autism, further contributing to feelings of exclusion and loneliness.
It may be that you lack knowledge and understanding of how autism affects you. It may be challenging to find common topics to talk about with others, and you may feel that you don't seem to connect with people in the same way others seem to do. Your interests may differ from theirs which may make having small talk exhausting, creating further feelings of isolation.
3. Gender based misdiagnosis
Given that autism has historically been considered a ‘male’ condition, many neurodivergent women are often misdiagnosed or overlooked. This leads to a gender bias in diagnosis, further creating the connection between autism and loneliness in neurodivergent girls and women. This may lead to you not getting the appropriate support, and struggling to know where to find the help you need.
Arula Counselling integrates creative, psychodynamic, mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) approaches with a focus on neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed care.
4. Coping skills that may increase loneliness in autism
Masking
Masking and hiding your true self can be painful. It may involve mimicking others’ behaviours so that people won’t find out about your differences. This may involve a fear of being seen as different or being perceived negatively, leading you to try to ‘fit in’ and act in ways that are far from your comfort. However, the more you suppress who you are, the more painful the experience becomes. Autistic ‘traits’ can be experiences that are not considered socially acceptable such as stimming, hypersensitivity to your environment, and not reading social cues according to social standards. Masking these autistic experiences can lead to, or increase feelings of:
Isolation
Rejection
Low self-esteem
Social anxiety
Depression
This creates further disconnection from yourself, trying to conform to social norms. You may feel like you can't be yourself when you're around other people, that you won't be accepted the way you are. Even if your coping skills and strategies may seem to be working in the short term, learning to mask may start from an early age, usually leading to more complex mental health challenges.
Differences in sensory processing
Due to the overwhelming social settings such as being triggered by noise, strong smells, and touch such as clothes not fitting the right way. You may want to remove yourself from these situations but feel like you can’t. This can create a feeling of being frozen, unable to act or respond to a situation. The intense sensations and discomfort can lead to a sense of panic or anxiety, where your body feels tense and your mind races. This is a common experience for those experiencing sensory sensitivities or social anxiety in overstimulating settings. During these times, it is important to be kind to yourself and to recognise that this is your body’s way of protecting yourself. With time, learning about yourself and your needs, creating structures that work for you such as wearing noise-cancelling headphones, removing yourself from the triggering setting or planning for breaks. The goal is to honour your needs in demanding social situations.
Holding conversations
It may be difficult to hold a conversation that doesn’t interest you at all. However, it’s a different story when you connect with someone on a topic that you are knowledgeable about, creating a sense of connection and mutual understanding. For many autistic individuals, having a conversation on a topic that they are knowledgeable about provides a flow of self-expression, fostering a genuine connection.
5. Reframing your autistic experience
Creating awareness
When you start to create awareness around your autistic experience in a safe space, you may begin to understand yourself and others in a new way. Through this, you may start to reframe your experience and to make sense of why it’s been difficult for you. It may not be that you’re anxious but that living in a world that functions differently and that is not adapted to the unique differences creates pressure. You may be feeling exhausted, isolated, and disconnected. However, this is not your fault.
Living in a world that's not designed for you is hard, trying hard to ‘fit in’ to an experience that doesn’t seem to match your needs, however hard you try. Understanding your autistic traits and your experience is a start in learning about yourself, what you like and what you don't like. You can then start communicating that to others and be in spaces that feel right to you. You don't have to suffer and try to fit in just because other people seem to be coping well.
Relearning about yourself
By creating a safe enough experience for you in the therapy room, you’ll begin to find out what you feel comfortable with, and what you don't. By learning about yourself, you start to get to know yourself. You may find that you are better suited for different environments that you are currently in. For example, your job, the people you surround yourself with, your interests etc. Take the time to consider and find out what is important to you and what feels good to you. This can look different from what you witness in your daily life, and that’s okay. Know that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you.
Acceptance
Research shows that a lack of autism awareness and understanding causes negative social experiences for autistic adults, including bullying and social isolation. Furthermore, peer rejection can happen due to the lack of knowledge of and dismissing your unique sensory experiences. Such an experience of rejection could lead to feeling 'othered'. However, you are not wrong or bad for others not having the appropriate knowledge.
Differences make us who we are. When the rest of the world doesn't know how to support you, accepting yourself and not seeing yourself at fault can be difficult. Even though it's initially tricky, learning about yourself and listening to your needs will make you more understanding and show compassion and kindness to yourself. Even if it feels right now like you won't be able to heal, there is a way out. You have the strength in you.
Self-compassion
Having self-compassion is a considerable part of the process of healing. Being kind to yourself and working on acceptance decreases the sense of loneliness. However, this is a challenging process, and there will be ups and downs. But staying with it and staying consistent will help you get through it. Not avoiding the pain but feeling it and working through it with compassion. It may be about giving more time to yourself, such as needing more time to wind down after a social event. It is important to create that space for yourself to recharge and not overload yourself.
Engaging with your community
Seeing other people going through the same things can help us find hope. Engaging with other autistic people can help you feel less alone, find hope and help you see that you are not alone with your symptoms. Finding relationships that feel good to you and with whom you can connect makes a difference. Even if it is just one person that you trust will support you in your process of understanding and healing.
6. Finding support
When reaching adulthood, many autistic women lack social support and knowledge on how to find available support. Healthcare professionals can often make you feel misunderstood. There is a risk of misdiagnosis, increasing the likelihood of feeling isolated and lonely. Unsurprisingly, you may not want to turn to medical professionals to seek support.
You may be feeling hopeless and thinking about giving up. But it’s important to know that there is support available for you. It may be starting therapy with a professional who understands you and your needs, by joining an appropriate support group, adapting your environment to your needs, or engaging in activities that you enjoy doing. Finding a therapist who understands neurodivergence can make processing your experiences a lot easier. Therefore, look for support groups that offer a comforting and inviting environment for your specific needs. Read more on what to talk about in therapy.
7. Conclusion
Autistic people desire friendships and connections as much as anyone. It is about finding value in social relationships, belonging, and feeling heard and understood. Therefore, addressing the connection between autism and loneliness is crucial to improving social and communication challenges in the autistic community. By doing so, we start to create more awareness and can find ways of supporting mental health and well-being.
A safe environment to express yourself and talk about what's on your mind and how you feel can be a great place to start. You don't have to be alone in your experience. Talking to a professional who knows about neurodiversity helps to validate your experience.
Building relationships
Positive view and acceptance of yourself
Social skills interventions
Spending time doing activities you like
Music therapy can offer a safe way to start processing your emotions and feelings through a safer outlet.
I am an English-speaking therapist in Berlin, offering autism support for adults. I see clients both online and in-person.
Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and does not substitute a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional. If you are in a mental health crisis, please call 112 or your country's crisis line, where professional mental health workers can help you. Here are some additional resources.
References
Brickhill, R., et al. (2023). Autism, thy name is man: Exploring implicit and explicit gender bias in autism perceptions. PloS one, 18(8), e0284013. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0284013
Davis, H. (2022) ‘Autism is a way of being’: An ‘insider perspective’ on neurodiversity, music therapy and social justice’ in British Journal of Music Therapy, Vol. 36(1) 16–26.
Grace, K., et al. (2022). Loneliness in autistic adults: A systematic review. Autism, 26(8), 2117-2135. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221077721
Hadley, S. (2013). Dominant narratives: Complicity and the need for vigilance in the creative arts therapies. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 40(4), 373-381. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.aip.2013.05.004
Lago, C. (2011). Diversity, oppression, and society: Implications for person-centered therapists. Person-Centered & Experiential Psychotherapies, 10(4), 235–247.
Sinclair, J. (1993) ‘Don’t Mourn for Us’ in Autism Network International newsletter, Our Voice, Volume 1, Number 3.
Hidden Struggles: Exploring the Impact of Autism and Depression in Adult Mental Health
In this blog post, we will explore the unique challenges faced by adults with dual diagnoses of autism and depression and the importance of understanding, support, and music therapy in your journey.
As we delve into the complexities of mental health, it is important that we talk about the hidden struggles that often go unnoticed. Autism and depression are two conditions that can profoundly impact your daily life, especially when experienced together. In this blog post, we will explore the unique challenges faced by adults with dual diagnoses of autism and depression, explore the concept of autistic burnout, and the importance of understanding and support in your journey.
Understanding Autism and Depression
Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC) is a neurodevelopmental condition characterised by difficulties in social interaction, communication, and 'stimming’. Depression, however, is a mood disorder that affects an individual’s overall well-being, causing persistent sadness, loss of interest, and difficulties in managing daily activities. When these conditions coexist, they can create a complex and nuanced mental health landscape.
What is Autistic Burnout?
Depression and autistic burnout are distinct mental health experiences that share common symptoms and challenges. Depression is characterised by sadness and loss of interest, while autistic burnout is specific to those on the spectrum, caused by overwhelming environments and stress. The key difference lies in origins and triggers: depression has varied causes, while autistic burnout is linked to how individuals with autism process information. Recognising these differences is important for effective support and therapy.
The Impact on Mental Health
The impact of autism and depression on mental health cannot be underestimated. Adults with autism often face challenges in social situations, which can lead to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and difficulties in relationships. The presence of depression expands these struggles, intensifying feelings of hopelessness and despair. The constant effort to navigate social cues and communication can become overwhelming, contributing to increased vulnerability to mental health issues.
Hidden Struggles and Masking
For adults with autism and depression, the ability to mask your struggles becomes a survival mechanism. You may have developed coping mechanisms to hide your difficulties, masking your true needs, emotions, and internal struggles. This constant masking can be mentally exhausting and takes a toll on an already fragile mental health. It also decreases the likelihood of others recognising your challenges and offering you the necessary support.
The Power of Music Therapy
In the face of these hidden struggles, music therapy emerges as a powerful and effective tool for adults with autism and depression. Music therapy provides a safe and nonjudgmental space where you can express yourself, communicate, and connect with others. Through music, therapists can facilitate emotional expression, reduce anxiety and stress, and support you in developing coping strategies that work for you.
Research has shown that music therapy interventions can improve social interaction skills, enhance self-expression, and boost mood in individuals with autism and depression. Playing instruments, engaging in songwriting, and participating in therapeutic improvisation can foster a sense of empowerment and autonomy. The rhythmic and melodic characteristics of music also stimulate neural networks, enhancing cognitive and emotional processing.
Building a Supportive Community
Creating a supportive community is crucial in addressing the hidden struggles faced by adults with autism and depression. By fostering understanding, empathy, and acceptance, we can break down the barriers that prevent you from seeking help and feeling understood. Educating ourselves about autism and depression, promoting mental health awareness, and creating inclusive spaces are tangible actions that can make a difference.
Conclusion
The intertwining of autism and depression presents unique challenges for adults striving to maintain their mental health. Recognising and addressing these hidden struggles is crucial. Music therapy offers an invaluable avenue for self-expression, emotional release, and personal growth. By embracing the power of music and fostering a support community, we can work together to empower and uplift adults with autism and depression, ensuring you feel seen, heard, and understood in your journey towards mental well-being.
If you’re interested in exploring this further, please contact me here or via the button below. I look forward to hearing from you!
Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only. If you are suffering from severe trauma, live in an abusive household or are in danger, call 112 or your country's crisis line, where professional mental health workers can offer you appropriate support.
Neurodiversity Week
Founded by Siena Castellon in 2018, Neurodiversity Celebration Week is a worldwide initiative which challenges the stereotypes and misconceptions about people’s neurological differences.
Founded by Siena Castellon in 2018, Neurodiversity Celebration Week is a worldwide initiative which challenges the stereotypes and misconceptions about people’s neurological differences.
It aims to transform how neurodivergent individuals are perceived and supported by providing schools, universities, and organisations with the opportunity to recognise the many talents and advantages of being neurodivergent, while creating more inclusive and equitable cultures that celebrate differences and empower every individual.
What is neurodiversity?
Neurodiversity is an umbrella term to describe alternative thinking styles such as autism, ADHD, dyspraxia and dyslexia. However, instead of labelling people’s conditions, by using the term neurodiversity we are recognising and respect the neurological differences that support an individual’s strengths and challenges. ‘Challenges’ that have more to do with the environment and systems that neurodivergent individuals are placed in and that are often designed by the majority of the population.
Why you should take part
If you want to know more about neurodiversity, are neurodiverse, are a caregiver or a parent to a neurodiverse child or are looking for resources on how to best support neurodiverse people at universities, schools or workplaces then this is the place for you. There will be talks and workshops taking place online throughout the week. You can find the event calendar and registration links here.
Together, let’s change the narrative to understand, accept and celebrate neurodiversity!
#NeurodiversityWeek
ADHD in Women
What are the gender differences in ADHD, symptoms of ADHD in women and what can be done to treat ADHD?
Originally, ADHD was thought to only affect children and persist into adulthood in some cases. Recent research shows that children do not “outgrow” their symptoms, but these are carried into adulthood. However, adult ADHD remains an undiagnosed and untreated population, especially in girls and women, which makes it difficult for women with ADHD to find appropriate support. Therefore, more education and awareness are needed for accurate diagnosis and treatment. Below we will discuss gender differences in ADHD, symptoms of ADHD and what can be done to treat ADHD symptoms in women.
ADHD in adults
According to research, 2.5% of the adult population has ADHD. Adult ADHD symptoms interfere with relationships, school and work performance and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, self-confidence and sleep difficulties. From research, about 80% of adult ADHD occurs together with other mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, substance use and personality disorders.
ADHD and gender differences
In children, ADHD is diagnosed after a referral from caregivers or teachers. Boys are more likely to be referred for treatment since they present primarily with external symptoms such as hyperactivity, which is more noticeable to others. Conversely, females with ADHD are more likely to present with inattentive symptoms and internalise their difficulties. Equally, this leaves more time to develop coping strategies to mask core symptoms associated with ADHD.
Girls meet diagnostic criteria for ADHD at just under half the rates of boys, which becomes closer to equal by adulthood. Due to undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, symptoms of stress, depression and anxiety can rise.
Symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity
extremely impatient
irrational and impulsive acts without thinking of the consequences
difficulties in waiting for their turn or waiting for the other person to finish their sentences
frequently interrupting activities or conversations
Symptoms of inattention
not paying attention to details and making careless mistakes
gets bored easily when doing something that they are not interested in
jumping from one activity to the next without finishing
frequently daydreaming
slow in completing tasks
difficulties in completing tasks on time
doesn’t follow instructions
avoids tasks that require mental concentration, such as puzzles or reading
slow information processing
misplaces things frequently
Arula Counselling integrates creative, psychodynamic, mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) approaches with a focus on neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed care.
What causes ADHD?
The cause of ADHD is unknown and depends on each individual’s circumstances, such as the environment and genetics. ADHD usually first appears between the ages of 3-6 but may be left unnoticed because of a proper lack of education and knowledge in those around children.
How is ADHD diagnosed in women?
ADHD is a chronic condition that does not go away but can be mediated with proper support, such as therapy and medication. This needs careful assessment and diagnosis since there is no one way to diagnose ADHD. If you think you may have ADHD, you can start to note down your symptoms. Consult your GP or a psychiatrist, or get help from a therapist to help you understand your symptoms. It is important to note that not all symptoms will be ADHD, which requires careful consideration from a medical professional to rule out other conditions.
What are some ADHD symptoms in women?
Girls are more likely to display inattention as the predominant symptom, which is more likely to carry into adulthood. Occurring symptoms in women can be mood and anxiety and personality disorders which accompany female ADHD. This would require a proper assessment and diagnosis for awareness and clarity, given that there is a high risk for self-harm in females with ADHD.
Some symptoms of ADHD in women can lead to unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships, poor attendance or productivity at work, low self-esteem and self-confidence and difficulties in getting tasks done. Some symptoms in women might be:
mood swings
sensitivity
impulsivity
chronic stress
disorganisation and keeping with the time
chronic procrastination
difficulties multitasking
restlessness
daydreaming and inattentiveness
difficulties in money-management
forgetfulness
ADHD support for women in Berlin
ADHD support will help you cope with the symptoms and better understand yourself and your needs. ADHD support, such as counselling and medication, allows you to alleviate symptoms and learn how to better manage these, leading to improved relationships, work performance, and quality of life.
Counselling
Talking and creating awareness of yourself can help you manage day-to-day activities and create structure. Coming up with a format that is needed specifically for your needs and assessing what works for you. This can vary greatly, depending on a case-by-case basis.
Music therapy
In addition to talking, music therapy can help access our inner resources through creative means since not everything can be expressed in words. Music can help to alleviate anxiety and find ease and understanding. Because music activates our whole brain, it can help to shut the wired brain off from interfering thoughts to focus on the present moment.
If you would like to get more information on ADHD support or would like to schedule a consultation call, get in touch with me below. I look forward to hearing from you.
Language: Sex and gender exist on a spectrum. The term “women” referred to in this article reflects the term assigned at birth. However, your gender identity may not align with this category.
Please note: This is for educational purposes only and is not to substitute a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional. If you are in a mental health crisis, please call 112 or your country's crisis line, where professional mental health workers can help you.
References
Biederman, J. et al. (2002). Influence of gender on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children referred to a psychiatric clinic. American Journal of Psychiatry, 159, 36–42.
Davies, W. (2014). Sex differences in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Candidate genetic and endocrine mechanisms. Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology, 35, 331-346.
Hinshaw, S. P. et al. (2021) Annual Research-Review: Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in girls and women: underrepresentation, longitudinal processes, and key directions. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.
Hinshaw, S.P., and Scheffler, R.M. (2014). The ADHD explosion: Myths, medication, money, and today’s push for performance. New York: Oxford University Press.
Katzman, M.A., Bilkey, T.S., Chokka, P.R. et al. Adult ADHD and comorbid disorders: clinical implications of a dimensional approach. BMC Psychiatry 17, 302 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-017-1463-3
Nerenberg, J. (2020) Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World that Wasn’t Designed for You.
ADHD - Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos
October is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month. We will discuss the symptoms of ADHD and focus more on ADHD in adults.
October is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month. Therefore, we will discuss the symptoms of ADHD and focus more on ADHD in adults. How does ADHD influence us, what about getting assessed, and how can therapy support an adult diagnosed with ADHD? If you’re looking for ADHD support for adults in Berlin, here is how counselling can help.
What is ADHD?
ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, with symptoms present in 3-10% of school children. ADHD is three times more common in boys than girls and is usually passed on into adulthood. However, diagnosing ADHD in adults is more difficult since they have learned to mask their symptoms.
ADHD symptoms
ADHD is characterised by poor impulse control, difficulties concentrating, restlessness, fidgeting, tics, and hyperactivity. Dr Gabor Matè has stated that ADHD is not a disease, but a byproduct of not getting our attachment needs met in childhood. Genetic risk, metabolic diseases, immune disorders, infections, physical trauma, toxic environment and neglect may contribute to ADHD. It may be associated with other mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, dyslexia, learning difficulties, developmental disorders, and speech and language disorders.
Early childhood environment
For young children, there is a need for attention and emotional regulation, the importance of attuning to the child, being present with them and offering physical and emotional security. Children are more vulnerable to environmental stressors, sensitivity to the environment, and not being soothed when distressed. A stressful childhood environment with no consistency or predictability creates a lack of trust, possibly leading to zoning out or a 'freeze' response as a coping mechanism, making the pain more bearable.
Moreover, schools or other systems we operate in may be trying to fit children with ADHD into society's norms, ignoring their needs that are different from the 'norm'. However difficult it may be for the teacher or other professional to attend to everyone's needs, it always comes a long way. Including parents or caregivers in treatment plans is equally important, offering the child the appropriate support for healthy development.
ADHD in adults
Untreated ADHD can impair work performance, damage self-esteem and interfere with relationships. It can also reduce the chances of success and satisfaction in life, leading to substance misuse and distracting yourself with other activities rather than sitting with the pain. Studies show that the brain retains neuroplasticity throughout life. The brain continues to develop new pathways and synaptic connections to environmental stimuli. Meaning without the change in the environment, the brain cannot create new circuits of the mind relating to self and the world. Having ADHD doesn't mean there is a flaw in one's personality. There may be distress, loneliness and confusion that the adults may be unable to express. Separation of the mind and body, where the mind keeps wandering in another direction. Sometimes, the person can be highly interested in certain motivating activities.
What can therapy offer for adults with ADHD?
Therapy offers a safe space to explore any difficult feelings or triggers. It allows you to explore your patterns and behaviours and make sense of your inner experience. It is important to note that a therapist is not qualified to assess you for ADHD but can guide and support you in your process.
How can music therapy help with ADHD?
Oliver Sacks, neurologist and author of Musicophilia, has said: "Nothing activates the brain as extensively as music". Music helps to relieve tensions and express yourself through play. Sometimes, there is no need for words. Music has its own pulse, rhythm, breathing and movement. As music evokes different emotions, you start to gain clarity about the processes within yourself in a safe environment and by reflecting on your experiences with a therapist.
This type of therapy involves cognitive, emotional and social processes. The treatment uses musical interventions to support concentration, self-expression and social skills where the relationship between client and therapist is at the centre of therapy. However, creative activities such as free improvisation, listening to music, songwriting, movement and art can be used alongside words. Through these activities, the therapist guides the client towards specific therapeutic goals.
1. Providing structure
Providing a framework through regular weekly sessions creates predictability and safety that you may lack in your daily life. It forms a boundary from where you can start to explore your emotional and behavioural patterns with the therapist. The client's self-confidence and sense of achievement can be supported and enhanced through goal-oriented activities.
2. Safety and self-expression
Feeling safe is vital for growth and healing. From this environment, you can start to understand yourself better. Moreover, self-expression is one of the core values in music therapy. Music is a way to express yourself and convey and understand your emotions. Sometimes, expressing yourself through non-verbal means is safer and more accessible than words, finding new ways of relating and having fun with it. Expressing yourself in a way that feels comfortable and right for you.
3. Supporting focus
Playing music or other forms of self-expression supports attention skills, where we pay attention to the body and mind. Listening to music activates the whole brain compared to speaking. Purposefully playing a musical instrument, writing songs, singing or listening to music can help you concentrate better and help make new neural pathways in your brain.
4. Supporting social skills
Music and the arts offer opportunities to support communication and find new ways of interacting. Creative activities help to communicate in a more accessible way where no words are needed since we don't all communicate in the same way. Making yourself heard, validated and accepted in a therapy space helps you implement these skills outside the therapeutic relationship. In therapy, looking at and understanding your parental relationships and family history helps to make sense of your experience and create awareness.
Getting assessed for ADHD as an adult in Berlin
ADHD assessment is done by a psychiatrist or professional with the appropriate qualifications. Getting a diagnosis can be a source of relief and helps to validate your experience. Although some people prefer not getting an assessment for ADHD because of stigma or personal reasons. However, a diagnosis will help you get the appropriate care you need and enable you to adapt your school or work environments according to your needs.
Conclusion
Not everyone's brain works in the same way. Offering compassion, listening and being valued for who you are goes a long way. In addition to learning about your emotional and behavioural needs and patterns in therapy, we may also explore parental relationships and family history. It can be terrifying to sit with your mind but doing that in a safe and trusting space can make all the difference.
Contact me here if you think you or your loved one would benefit from counselling or music therapy.
Please note: If you are in a severe crisis, thinking of hurting yourself or others, then call 112, and professional mental health workers will be able to help you. Arula Counselling is not designed to offer help in immediate mental health crises.